How does assertive personality type deals with interpersonal conflict
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At the very least, we need to acknowledge that individuals have different ways of seeing things. This does not mean that we have to compromise our own basic principles. This may be hard to do in a volatile situation, but a sign of individual strength and integrity is the ability to postpone our immediate reactions in order to achieve positive goals.
Try to put yourself into the shoes of the other person. See the world through their eyes. Empathy is an important listening technique which gives the other feedback that he or she is being heard. There are two forms of empathy. Thought Empathy gives the message that you understand what the other is trying to say. You can do this in conversation by paraphrasing the words of the other person.
Ask gentle, probing questions about what the other person is thinking and feeling. Encourage the other to talk fully about what is on his or her mind. Take responsibility for your own thoughts rather than attributing motives to the other person. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. Find positive things to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you.
Show a respectful attitude. I admire your strength and your caring attitude. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
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- Interpersonal Conflict and Effective Communication.
Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise.
Assertive people respect both themselves and the other. People handle How does a passive personality deal with interpersonal conflict? Views. Find an answer to your question Evaluate how each of the following personality types deals with interpersonal conflict: assertive/extrovert It is being passive or observant and does nothing to what is happening.
Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. Implement the Solution. As with anything in life, being assertive requires balance and common sense.
Dealing with conflict as a quiet person can be confronting, confusing and tiring. With the right knowledge, skills and practice, you can preserve your quiet strength in almost any situation. Aletheia Luna is an influential psychospiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor, diviner, and author, Luna's mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance.
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Great article. I just want to ask, how do you deal with someone who is in no way willing to compromise and take your needs into consideration as well?
Interpersonal Conflict-Handling Behavior as Reflections of Jungian Personality Dimensions
Hi there Lupe. The best thing to do is to limit interaction with such a person as much as possible.
Quietness, but firmness. That is the key! With people who let their dogs bark all these otherwise good techniques go out the window. Many dog owners are narcissists http: And no, the laws are far and away in favor of dog owners. This is a wonderful place to start self-growth. Confrontations are never easy to deal with as an empath, you tend to not understand why someone decides to become aggressive when you only wish to impart knowledge on a group and not tell someone how to live their life. From my own personnel experience it is always best to deescalate the drama first so as not to turn a bad situation into something worse, that is not to say you should be passive in your position but instead let calmer heads prevail.
You cannot infect a burning heart but you can find yourself leading a flock through calmness and peace by showing restraint instead of locking horns. People will respect you more for your humility and grace in such situations and you will many times find your opponent doing the same. Beautiful comment Benign.
Join our weekly newsletter and get lovingly hand-crafted, down-to-earth, soulful content every week in your inbox. Skip to content Skip to primary sidebar Skip to footer. Remove ads on lonerwolf? The good news is that it is NOT necessary to: This model shows five conflict management styles: Accommodating and collaborating are considered to be highly cooperative styles, whereas competing and avoiding are uncooperative styles. Additionally, competing and collaborating are more assertive styles, while avoiding and accommodating are not.
Compromising lies squarely in the middle of both cooperativeness and assertiveness. In a study conducted at the University of Madison, extraversion positively correlated with assertiveness, while agreeableness and neuroticism were correlated with lower assertiveness. Agreeableness and neuroticism were also positively correlated with avoidance, while the other three were negatively correlated with avoidance.
A Pakistani study that looked only at extraversion and openness found that participants who scored high in both extraversion and openness tended to prefer compromising in handling conflict. If you want to know what your conflict style is, there are plenty of online quizzes to help you figure that out. I took this one from the University of Arizona, and it told me that I prefer the avoiding style of conflict management. This basically means that I prefer to not have conflict ever.
This was not ground-breaking for me as I already recognized that I hate conflict and will do just about anything to avoid it. Chances are, you already have a decent idea of what conflict style you use the most, but I recommend taking the quiz either way, since knowing your own method for handling conflict is the best first step to improving your interaction with others in times of conflict.
Most of the research on personality type and conflict style seemed to hold true for me personally, as a conflict avoidant person.
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True to the theory of conflict pairs, I am fact-oriented in arguments, but I will agree with more emotional arguments if it means we can resolve the conflict and have closure. As for the Big Five, I score very low on extraversion and relatively high on neuroticism, both of which would point toward a tendency to avoid conflict—which we have already established that I have.
So, for me at least, all these theories about personality types and conflict styles are valid. ESTJ — Assertive, likely competitive. Seeks closure. ESTP — Assertive, probably collaborative. Seeks progress. ESFJ — Collaborative or compromising. Seeks to maintain relationships and interpersonal dynamics. ESFP — Collaborative or compromising.
Seeks to be heard. ENTJ — Assertive, likely competitive, but possibly willing to collaborate. ENTP — Assertive, most likely collaborative. Seeks progress and understanding.
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ENFJ — Collaborative or compromising. Seeks to maintain relationships. ENFP — Assertive, most likely collaborative. Seeks to have ideas and feelings understood.
ISTJ — Compromising, accommodating, or avoidant. Seeks to obtain an effective outcome but hesitant to start an argument. ISTP — Compromising or accommodating. Seeks to move on from conflict. ISFJ — Compromising or accommodating.
Fast, ad-free and uninterrupted! Share Flip Email. Power and conflict in the student-teacher relation-ship. These dimensions a re. In the past ten years, a five - category scheme for classifying interpersonal conflict - handling modes.
Seeks to resolve conflict and avoid offense. ISFP — Compromising, accommodating, or avoidant. INTJ — Compromising, accommodating, or avoidant. Seeks closure but hesitant to start an argument. INTP — Compromising or accommodating. INFJ — Compromising, accommodating, or avoidant. INFP — Compromising or accommodating.
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Now, how can you use this information for yourself? Well, as I already suggested, you should know your own conflict style so that you can anticipate how you will react when conflict arises and recognize your own shortcomings in conflict management. Then, if you have an idea of the personality types of those around you, you can probably predict how they will respond in moments of conflict. And if you disagree with my assessment of how each of the sixteen types handles conflict, let me know. Rachel holds a B. She is an INTJ, but she is not a super-villain. I dont think all of the extraverted types are demanding or assertive.
I actually panic whenever people put me in charge. The study reflects general findings. It's saying that over a large sample size, they are more likely to be assertive than nonassertive. I try to be compromising most of the time, in general, however. I would definitely seek to avoid conflict INTP. But sometimes things that are said are so patently inconsistent that it annoys me.
A big reaction.